Daycare Problems

by Molly
(Tacoma, Wa USA)

Question: My son does not want to stay at the child care center. I find myself yelling at hi, because I will be late for work. My son is frustrated about the simple fact of staying at day care, he cries and kicks. He is three years old. It makes me late for work. What can I do?

Answer: How do the daycare providers handle the situation? Are they working hard to pick him up and distract him? How does he behave after you have left? Do they say that he immediately calms down or does he act upset for a long time even after you leave? In my experience if a child has that severe of a reaction at a daycare center then you might have better luck finding a new daycare.

Some children have a difficult time with separation from their parents, but usually at that age the child will calm down soon after the parent leaves.

The reaction is also usually more of hugging and crying instead of throwing an all out tantrum. The first daycare my son went to he started going as a baby, but by the time he was 13-14 months old he would cry violently every time I left him there.

I don't think there was necessarily anything wrong with the daycare provider, it could have just been some of the children that he didn't like, but after switching daycare he immediately stopped.

We also had an incident with a babysitter that apparently yelled or scolded him too harshly. We're not entirely sure, but after she watched him he suddenly became very anxious about going to daycare or being left with anyone other than us.

It took about a month of getting him to feel comfortable with us leaving him, but we never let that particular person watch him again.

So, I would take a good look at the current daycare and see if there is any reason he doesn't like it. Look around for other options and see how he reacts when you go to visit them. Sometimes, it's all about having the right environment. Perhaps an in-home daycare that is smaller might be better? Good luck!